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An Open Birthday Letter to My Sun

Since day one of your precious life, you have been such a joy in mine. You are charming, smart, comical, helpful, strong, compassionate, loyal, and I would not change a thing about you. I love how you check on your grandma every day since we lost papa. You are a wonderful son and grandson. I love how patient you were when papa was sick. You never complained about the many doctor’s appointments we took him to over the summer before he transitioned. You just packed your little bag with games and snacks. Happy birthday, little black boy.

I love how fun and adventurous you are. Just thinking back on the many memories that we have shared makes my heart melt. You say that I am your best friend, but I need to be clear, I will not be your friend until you are 25. By that point, you will be mature enough to enjoy my company, but still, respect my position as your mother. I love that you are not afraid to speak your mind and how you respectfully challenge me. You are definitely a force to be reckoned with. Happy birthday, little black boy. ️

I know that that sometimes I am hard on you. Sometimes, I ask you to turn off cartoons and watch a documentary with me. Sometimes, I ask you to accompany me to a local poetry slam or to a museum instead of you playing basketball outside. Sometimes, I ask you to turn off ESPN and watch a YouTube video of how another black boy/man was senselessly murdered. Sometimes, I share stories with you at the dinner table about my racist encounters at work and at school. This way, it will NEVER cross your little black mind to EVER disrespect a beautiful black queen. We go through enough garbage. Black men should be a safe place for black women. Happy birthday, little black boy.

Each night, I remind you to pray, and I make you read a short bible story before we have our mother/son time; I need you to know who holds the world, your future, and who to depend on after your father and I die. Sometimes, I tell the teacher to give you detention when they call me because you do way too much. That is freaking annoying; I am trying to work. I never understood why you throw food as much as you like to eat. Why in the devil are you throwing food? Anyway, I will always go hard to defend you, protect you, and celebrate you. However, you have to understand what’s wrong is wrong. I will ALWAYS call you out, just like grandma calls me out. Might I add, she still does this to me as an adult. I know you are just a kid, but you cannot get away with one, single, thing in today’s world, because of how you look: grayish-greenish eyes and all. Happy birthday, little black boy. ️

There will be times when you are minding your own business and still run the risk of losing your life. Welcome to our world. In 2020, we still hear about our people being lynched. Will we ever get justice? I tell you this, not so that you are fearful of any mortal, but so that you will be cautious and prayerful. One more thing I will caution you on, as your papa would say, “you gotta watch your own folks too,” but I will save that for another open letter. I know we must accept what God allows, but I do not want you to become a hashtag. Happy birthday, little black boy. ️

I say what I say, and I do what I do because I need to celebrate many, many, more birthdays with you, my beautiful, strong boy. I look forward to seeing you grow up, become your definition of successful, start a family, and hopefully, you’ll invite your father and me to tag along on a few of your family trips when we are old. Happy birthday, little black boy. ️

I will love you until I take my last breath, and may the love that I give to you now, carry you throughout your life for many years after I am gone. So, happy birthday, little black boy. ️ I LOVE YOU!